When We Hit Rock Bottom:
Waiting on God in Sad Seasons

as featured at Devotable
This article originally appeared on the Devotable blog on October 18, 2019. Read the entire article at this link or click below to listen to the devotional being read, with commentary by Devotable's founder, Landen Melton.
The bathroom had become my closest companion. A dark, crisp place of refuge I would retreat to when the sorrow inside of my soul became too much to keep hidden from the outside world. I would lock the door behind me and slink my spine down the wall to the floor, curling in upon myself as a snail recoiling from a salty finger. There in the blackened room, I sat—off the radar of friends and family who might attempt to retrieve me.


The loneliness of rock bottom teased with accusations about divine abandonment and enticed me into its sorrowful seclusion. I could not sense God’s presence, and while I knew he could see me in my misery, I wondered why he wouldn’t help. Perhaps I fell off his radar as well?

Jesus and I had enjoyed such enthralling fellowship, but this particular rock bottom seemed to permit no visitors. When all I wanted was a comfort from my God, all I received was empty echoes of a cry he stalled to answer. God, don’t you hear me?

As hurt and sorrow commiserated together, I fell heavy as a broken boulder from on high, tumbling down into a forgotten gorge of hopelessness. For weeks, life hardly seemed worth living. I’d imagine falling out of a moving car, or what it would look like to simply melt into the meadows, embraced by sun-kissed grasses and taken into the ground. Rock bottom came with a demon designed to persuade me that Christ was unwilling to come close in my pitiful condition.


Yet even in this place of despair, a mustard seed of faith somehow stood firm. When 99% of my flesh and soul were not comforted by Scripture’s consolations of hope, 1% remained rooted in hallow ground tilled by the Holy Spirit himself. I cannot account for my eventual revival from rock bottom apart from God’s sustaining grace—a grace so faithful and true to those who constantly dare to doubt it.

“Those who sow in tears shall reap with shouts of joy! He who goes out weeping bearing the seed for sowing, shall come home with shouts of joy, bringing his sheaves with him.” Psalm 126: 5-6 ESV  
For seeds of sorrow to become sheaves of joy, time must pass in between. Just as a farmer plants seeds in the spring and harvests crops in the fall, so too must we fling our mustard seeds of faith onto the soil and trust that God will do what is necessary to bring about sheaves of spiritual bounty.
When We Hit Rock Bottom: Waiting on God in Sad Seasons
Christine M. Chappell
Christine Chappell is the author of Clean Home, Messy Heart and is the host of The Hope + Help Project podcast. She writes frequently about depression, sorrow, grief, and motherhood at her blog, has completed biblical counseling certificates with the Institute for Biblical Counseling & Discipleship, and is currently pursuing certification with the Association of Certified Biblical Counselors. Christine's writing has been featured at Desiring God, The Gospel Coalition, Risen Motherhood, Servants of Grace, Thrive Moms, Devotable, and For Every Mom.
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