When my nine-year-old daughter learned I was working on a mini-book for depressed postpartum mothers, a look of confusion came over her face. She asked, “Why would a mom feel sad after having a baby? Isn’t that something to be happy about?”
My youngest child’s questions took me back to the hard season I endured after her birth—they sounded like the thoughts I was wrestling with at the time. I didn’t want to be bogged down by sorrow and limitation. I thought I should have been joyful, capable, and productive even though family life was hard. I often felt like a failure because I wasn’t enjoying every moment like others exhorted me to.
There are many well-meaning pieces of advice that mothers might hear during their postpartum journey. A common one I heard was, “They grow up so fast. Enjoy every moment!” In those exchanges, I usually replied to the nostalgia with an affirming nod and smile. But silently, I’d wonder if that was even possible. How could I enjoy every moment of such a depleting and disorienting time? For me—and for other women I’ve spoken with—the challenges of postpartum motherhood were far more multi-faceted than the demands of newborn care. There were also physical, emotional, mental, spiritual, relational, and financial challenges to navigate. Losses to live with. Griefs to groan through. Conflicts outside and fears within (2 Cor. 7:5). It seemed unrealistic to enjoy every moment when I was weary every minute of the day.
Sometimes, I felt like replying, “If you only knew how hard this was for me…”
My youngest child’s questions took me back to the hard season I endured after her birth—they sounded like the thoughts I was wrestling with at the time. I didn’t want to be bogged down by sorrow and limitation. I thought I should have been joyful, capable, and productive even though family life was hard. I often felt like a failure because I wasn’t enjoying every moment like others exhorted me to.
There are many well-meaning pieces of advice that mothers might hear during their postpartum journey. A common one I heard was, “They grow up so fast. Enjoy every moment!” In those exchanges, I usually replied to the nostalgia with an affirming nod and smile. But silently, I’d wonder if that was even possible. How could I enjoy every moment of such a depleting and disorienting time? For me—and for other women I’ve spoken with—the challenges of postpartum motherhood were far more multi-faceted than the demands of newborn care. There were also physical, emotional, mental, spiritual, relational, and financial challenges to navigate. Losses to live with. Griefs to groan through. Conflicts outside and fears within (2 Cor. 7:5). It seemed unrealistic to enjoy every moment when I was weary every minute of the day.
Sometimes, I felt like replying, “If you only knew how hard this was for me…”
